Monday, February 4, 2013

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today is the day my mom would have been 69 years old. 

I really try to celebrate the birth days of my loved ones who have passed, because it makes for a cheerier me, and I find I'm more apt to share good memories when I do that.  But I have to say I'm angry.  I'm angry because she's been gone for almost 12 years.  Not only was I robbed of a mom when I was new to marriage, having kids, all the times when mom is the go-to person for advice, but my kids were robbed of a really special relationship with their grandmother, like I had with mine.  And my mom was robbed too of maybe being able to just coast.  She'd scrabbled a lot through life, and it would have been nice to see her sit back and enjoy it.

This year is made harder by the fact I just found out someone I knew from high school passed away.  While she wasn't a best buddy, she was someone I always remember as having a smile on her face, and I can't think of anything bad she ever said about anyone.  Her family shouldn't be planning her funeral today.

I guess I'm a little angrier this year, but I'm just seeing a lot of really bad people--both on a big scale and a small one--filled with nastiness and hate, and it's a daily fight to keep that negativity out.  I can't help but think a whole karma cleaning is in order, but when things like that happen, it seems the good ones go first.  I don't know.  I'm just sick to death of the seeming injustice of good people going young and bad ones sticking around.

In any event, happy bday, Mom!  I'm thinking of you today, and I love and miss you.

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