Today is the day my mom would have been 69 years old.
I really try to celebrate the birth days of my loved ones who have passed, because it makes for a cheerier me, and I find I'm more apt to share good memories when I do that. But I have to say I'm angry. I'm angry because she's been gone for almost 12 years. Not only was I robbed of a mom when I was new to marriage, having kids, all the times when mom is the go-to person for advice, but my kids were robbed of a really special relationship with their grandmother, like I had with mine. And my mom was robbed too of maybe being able to just coast. She'd scrabbled a lot through life, and it would have been nice to see her sit back and enjoy it.
This year is made harder by the fact I just found out someone I knew from high school passed away. While she wasn't a best buddy, she was someone I always remember as having a smile on her face, and I can't think of anything bad she ever said about anyone. Her family shouldn't be planning her funeral today.
I guess I'm a little angrier this year, but I'm just seeing a lot of really bad people--both on a big scale and a small one--filled with nastiness and hate, and it's a daily fight to keep that negativity out. I can't help but think a whole karma cleaning is in order, but when things like that happen, it seems the good ones go first. I don't know. I'm just sick to death of the seeming injustice of good people going young and bad ones sticking around.
In any event, happy bday, Mom! I'm thinking of you today, and I love and miss you.
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