Cheap wins!

I've officially thrown off all vestiges of vanity in favor of my gnawing frugality. These vitamins pictured? $2.35! That's right, $7 less than average vitamins. I'm still 5+ years from crossing into 50, yet I didn't hesitate for even a moment before putting it into my cart.

I've got friends--closer to 50 than I am might I add--who would speed out of the aisle for fear the vitamins would spontaneously leap into their carts.

I bought two.

Support Girl Scouts!

Yes, internoodles, it's that time of year again here in the Midwest--Girl Scout Cookie Time!

I've got scouts of both the boy and girl variety, and Lord knows my kids have hit up everyone they can think of to sell, sell, sell.  Yeah, my kids are born marketers.  This year, Brownie made her own video on my phone, showing cookie options and texted it to random people in my contacts.  Some she knew well, some not at all.  It's made for some funny texts in return.

This isn't about a plea for more sales (but hey, if you don't HAVE a local girl scout, LET ME KNOW) but to publicly appreciate and explain the connection scouts has had in all our lives and tell you more about what you're supporting. 

When I was a kid, my mom was a single parent, my dad flitting in and out at unexpected and random moments.  We were both very fortunate that my grandparents were involved and in the picture, but they lived about 45 minutes away--in good Chicago traffic--and since my mom was the oldest of seven, there were still kids at home for my grandparents to raise when I was a child.  My mom also had a fabulous network of friends who helped out by keeping me overnight while she went to her night job.  But my mom felt guilty, possibly treading into using those options TOO much.  Summer Girl Scout camp was her break.  Not that my mom didn't love and worship the ground I walked on (I mean who wouldn't?!) but every parent needs a break.  My mom would scrimp and save all year to send me to at least one full week of camp in the summer.  As I grew older, multiple weeks were saved for.  They represented her chance to rejuvenate and come back to parenting fresher and better.  It gave her a chance to miss me.

Did I mention I LOVED girl scout camp? I was able to assert my independence without being told "no" unless it was something flat out dangerous.  I learned how to ride horses English style, I sailed a small boat by myself then taught others to, I took a three day canoe trip with 10 other girls, I built fires, planned and cooked meals by myself, and on rainy days, I mastered the ability to French braid hair (something I've put to GOOD use with a daughter), and I started a real love affair with camping and the outdoors that's lasted me my whole life, all by age 14.  Had my mom tried to give me all those opportunities individually, the costs would have been monstrous, and I wouldn't have been able to do even half those activities.  But Girl Scouts provided a way to give me solid skills in all those areas.

For my kids, I look around the world today, and I see how heavy competition to the point of crushing one's opponent into dust is valued.  I see the disconnect between people and their communities, and I feel acutely the ways our children no longer value our connection with nature.  We recycle and all, but there's little to no appreciation for nature anymore.  There's teamwork, but the end result doesn't always translate into having humanity for one's opponents--win or lose.  Scouting provides children, no matter what their income levels are, a sense of purpose not just for the self but as a part of a community.  It teaches girls and boys to lead with compassion and respect for ALL others--people and nature.  Specifically for girls, in a world where youngsters from the earliest ages today are overwhelmed by examples of how the world wants them to be women, and the overwhelming majority of those examples do not involve thinking, Girl Scouts teaches girls to lead, think for themselves, and not to be afraid of their own voices.

So please, if you have a girl scout in your neighborhood, or you see one at the store selling cookies, help to support this cause.  If you don't want cookies in your house because of that spiffy New Year's resolution, donating to send cookies to our overseas troops gives individual Girl Scout troops the same benefit as buying a box for yourself.  Help us to continue to create girls of courage, confidence, and character, and thank you in advance for your support.

Really wealthy celebrity? Really?

Free admission, I used to be a big fan of Oprah back in the day when she was new to Chicago's talk shot concept, and she was closer to transvestites and relationships gone wrong than she was angels and giving out her favorite things.  Somewhere along the way, however, I've noticed that while she believes in her heart of hearts she's still a "regular gal," she's wrong.  "Regular" kicked her off the bus long ago.  I've seen bits of shows where it's obvious she doesn't understand the struggles of daily life at all.

So keep that in mind as you read along.

I've been a little absent.  The holidays usually hold a fair amount of melancholy for me.  I miss key members of my family who have passed on, and I spend way too much time worrying I'm not giving my kids the Norman Rockwell Christmas I, at least, had a taste of, if, you know, Norman Rockwell painted about Eastern European immigrants and their progeny.  This year had the added excitement of my husband's joblessness and cringing at every gift request my kids made. 

I'm folding laundry last night, being all domestic and what not, and the TV is on for noise.  Now, this was an edited commercial I heard, so I'm HOPING there was more humility to it than I heard. 

Oprah is on screen, and she says, "Really, I have the most stressful life of anyone in the world." I will freely admit there is probably great stress involved in maintaining an international media presence, along with the company and employees that go along with that branding effort.  But of ANYONE? In the WORLD?  Like I said, I'm hoping in the original that's followed by "but still there are many worse off than I am" or something akin to that sentiment, but I'm guessing not.

Specifically for Oprah, then.  (Feel free to pass this along if you are intimate BFFs with Oprah):

• There are people who are stressed beyond belief because they lost their children in either recent super storms or senseless killings.  They feel more stress than you do.
• Soldiers who couldn't be with their families this holiday season and wonder if today's the day they might not come back in from maneuvers, they have more stress than you do.
• My friend's 24 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer and was given 2-3 years to live. I'm sure there are many like her.  They have more stress than you do.
• My husband has been out of work for three months, and only two years ago he ended an almost 3 year long streak of unemployment.  There are COUNTLESS people like us.  All of us have more stress than you do.
• There are people who feel defeated in life for no other reason than the chemistry in their brains isn't right, but they don't know how to solve it.  They have more stress than you do.

I pretty much consider this the short list. Perhaps Oprah needs to start employing censors to keep her from sounding stupid.  It would be money well spent.

Confidence? Yeah, she's got it

Brownie: I think I want to be a chef. I'm good at cooking.

Me: Yes, you always help me cook. You could do that.

(Insert big sigh from Brownie)

Me: What, dearie?

Brownie: It's so hard to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I'm SO talented. I like to dance, I like art, my singing is great, and I write great books. I guess I'll need to be more than one thing. People deserve it.

Me: Okay! (I'm actually a little afraid we'll all be working for her one day).

I'm paying for this all day long

I do a fair amount of volunteering at the kids' schools, and I'm a Girl Scout leader. I save the class parties for other parents who have judgmental, perfect ways of doing things. The girl's class party was yesterday.

They had a gift exchange of a sort. Apparently, one of the moms had the bright idea to play that game where someone picks a random gift, opens it, next person chooses a random gift, but if second person doesn't like the gift, that person can "trade" gifts with someone who's already chosen a gift.

Did NO ONE see the combination of this game--that I've seen go poorly with ADULTS, resulting in bad feelings--and third graders could, maybe, possibly, end badly? Cuz as my sobbing daughter talked about how one girl influenced another to "steal" her gift, I had more than a bit of a clue.

These people HAVE kids, right?

Common courtesy--GONE!

I think we can all agree the times, they are TOUGH economically.  Here in this house, we're living that reality with our main breadwinner out of work.  Having still not recovered completely from his three year long stint of joblessness that ended only two years ago, any time of joblessness is to say, definitely unpleasant.  But I gotta say, the lack of common courtesy from employers is ticking me off.

Realizing that many people, in this day and age of instant gratification and the endless internet at their disposal, may apply for jobs they perhaps aren't truly qualified for, because, hey, it's only a click away, I get that not every inquiry will be acknowledged.  I even understand that phone interviews (of which Hubster has had at least three) that don't move to the next cut may not be acknowledged.  I think all the phone interviewers even said he'd only be contacted if he went to the next level.  Fine.  People are busy.  I get it.  But Hubster had one interview that went beyond phone to face-to-face.  It was a GREAT opportunity.  Good hours, stunningly close to home, working days, no weekends.  In short, I really didn't even expect he'd get it, it was just too perfect.

Hubster met, on this interview, the HR Flunky, HR Big, Warehouse Manager, and MR BIG BOSS.  It lasted over an hour, there was laughing, there was discussion of various scenarios.  It went as well as an interview could go.  Near the end, Big Boss let loose two facts, one that Hubster was Candidate Uno, meaning first interviewed.  Hubster acknowledged that could be good OR bad.  Big Boss then conferred with Warehouse Manager and HR Big, and said he'd be contacted EITHER WAY within about two weeks.  Excellent!  Hubster came home and emailed HR Big, thanking him for the interview, hoping to hear from him soon.

Two weeks came and went.  No calls, no emails.  Week three was Thanksgiving week.  Hubster called HR Flunky, leaving a message that he realized their time frame had passed, if there were any other info they needed, he'd be happy to supply it.  No calls, no emails. 

This is what burns me.  Multiple people committed to the "either way, we'll let you know" sentiment.  Even if they "forgot" to call him, his message to HR Flunky should have generated an email immediately afterward.  Given this day and age of email, three sentences could have both informed Hubster he was no longer in the running and stopped us from hoping.  In this day and age of people hoping to get jobs, wouldn't it be nice if those in charge of hiring exhibited common courtesy?  All I know is this company talked in the interview about how they were a "family company" but I just see them as a RUDE company.

I turned it off

I've done what I need to do, which is turn off the coverage of the horrendous tragedy that occurred on Friday.  I can't watch anymore.  I feel myself sinking into a place I know I wouldn't be able to easily get out of, a place that's unproductive and too sad to cope with my daily life.  I've tried instead getting all worked up over idiotic posts people make about "hey, if only we could pray in schools, all would be well" or the "guns don't kill people, people kill people" mantra the NRA likes so much that are floating around on Facebook.  The only thing that has resonated with me, instead, is a post that makes me sink deeper into sadness, that of the mom struggling with her son's runaway mental illness and the lack of options available to her.

This over-connection to sadness is something I've always had with horrific occurrences turned media events.  I found I had to turn off coverage of 9/11, university shootings, and I was nearly beside myself knowing Hubbster's aunt was down the road teaching at Columbine's elementary school, watching the ambulances roll by for catastrophic that event.  I've had to think what I would do if a gunman came into my classroom, and hey, I know intellectually my university is FAR less safe than any elementary school.  I know I've dealt with students who were, if I'm being 100% honest with myself, off their very serious big time meds and exhibiting behavior I was afraid of.  My colleagues have had stalkers and protective orders.  I've had people screaming at me in my little office with no one else around about the unfairness of a grade.  In the days before ubiquitous cell phones, students once called security (state police) over another student, male, aggressive, getting into my face, attempting to physically intimidate me.  The risk is there.  It's there every day.  But that's the risk for ME.  I take the risk because what I do is important, worthwhile, and necessary.

For my children?  I cannot let risk, let alone the assessment of possible risk into my consciousness.  I cannot assume they won't be coming through the door at the end of the day.  The thought alone is enough to send me to my bed, weeping and unable to cope.  That's why I cannot watch mothers and fathers on television emotions flayed, wailing their sorrow to God.  The risk assessment starts then, in my head.  If I even think it could happen to MY babies, I will be paralyzed with fear, and that will mean I'll paralyze my children with fear too.  That's not a life I want them to remember.

So in the months to come, I may argue the necessity of increased mental health services and need for gun control with others.  But for now?  I feed them breakfast, remind my kids to take their lunches, button their coats, tell them I love them and to learn something fabulous.  I send them out the door, expecting them to be home later, just like I do every single day.  It's the only way I can continue putting one foot in front of the other.