Politics!

Don't worry, this has nothing to do with Republicans or Democrats. My daughter had her first student council election, and along with that came her first disappointment related to candidate dishonesty.

First, one candidate, instead of just relying on her speech, brought in little tie dyed buttons on glow sticks with "vote for" and her name. She even had different colors for boys and girls. Another hopeful was engaging in negative politicking on the playground, talking trash about the other candidates. The worst was the girl who told Brownie "hey, I'll vote for you if you vote for me" then proceeded to vote for herself and rub Brownie's nose in it right after she did it. She did it just under the radar of the teacher, because those types of kids always know how to do that perfectly.

Of course, little Miss Dishonesty won. I had to tell a sobbing, bitterly disappointed in humanity Brownie that not everyone is honest like she is, and karma will come around, and everyone will be on to this girl's ways soon enough.

Me? I just hope karma takes a HUGE chunk out of that girl's behind, sooner than later would be good.

Hopped in the way back machine today

I was driving to work and an idle comment from a radio DJ filled my head with memories.  A song was just ending, and the DJ noted that the upcoming song was from 1988, and she was sure many were saving for CD players then, because that was the hot new thing.

Oh!  The flood!

Near the close of 1988, I was partially through my junior year at North Central College in Naperville, IL.  At NCC, I was an on-air DJ for their award winning radio station, WONC.  We'd recently changed formats to more rock, no pop stuff, and I was often taking various forms of music and putting them onto cartridges to play in the studio.  Oh, the music that was new then that I was getting to jam out to!  You BET I was saving up to get a CD player.  I've always been an electronics freak when they meet up with music.

I can even remember when I bought my first CD player.  I was with one of my then (and still) besties as I dragged her to not one but TWO Marshall Field's locations.  On the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday sales because the first location was out.  Yes, she helped beat back greedy crowds at two locations just for me (remember, Bethie?).  Of course, she was staying at my house since she was from Florida, so she was kind of captive.

I know one of the CDs I bought that day was Melissa Etheridge's Bring Me Some Water.  I don't remember the others.  I'll have to think about it more.

Now?  My kids only know CDs play in our vehicles.  They have their own ipods, and I share with them my 18 gig library of music, much of which was born of my 350 CD collection.  I'm not buying discs now, though.  I wonder what songs they'll remember that shaped their music appreciation.

Stupid is nothing

Oh my, do we have a stunning example of stupid today!  If you're a local, you've seen this recent story.  If you're not, OH you've missed some good stuff.  The Chicago Sun-Times actually had a page and a half spread on Bryan Craig's story, which really does the whole sordid situation justice.

Just to recap, this man, recently a high school counselor and girls' basketball coach, self-published a book on sex.  Let's be clear.  This isn't a bodice-ripper romance where sex was intermittently introduced, nor was it even a "how to make relationships better" kind of book where sex was a subject.  This book was about how to bed women, including such fun discussions as why men need a partner "just for sex" as a "release" and pages of in-depth reporting on how the texture of women's vaginas differ, based on race.  He also rates races of women by "hotness" scores.  In short, it's 44 pages of nonsense, wrapped in crap, with an are-you-freaking-kidding-me bow.  I thought of every loser misogynistic date I ever had and pondered the personal hell that must be his wife's life.

Mr. Craig resigned from his position as coach, and he's on paid leave pending an investigation.  Lawyers for the district, rightfully aware there could be legal implications leading from this publication, are running around touting the fact that Bryan Craig has a right to free speech, which I absolutely agree with.  Mr. Craig has EVERY right to spout whatever idiotic crap that runs through his head if he so chooses, but that doesn't mean I have to want him near my daughter.

And that's where the rub is for me.  It's not in this article I've posted, but in other print articles it states that not only does Bryan Craig identify he's worked for the school district and the Department of Children and Family Services in a biographical sort of way, but he references those positions, as well as his coaching position as giving him insight into the female psyche.  That's where you lose me on free speech, Mr. Craig.  If you're saying that you've counseled women in ways to "take charge" of their relationships, meaning with sex, and you're saying that in the book, that means those work situations informed and influenced your writing.  By extension, that means your writing informs and influences your work.  Here's where I start to get that icky feeling.  Bryan Craig works with young, impressionable males and females.  While none are my kids, I don't want him telling ANY child that they need to be promiscuous prior to marriage, or that men and women should maintain five partners simultaneously for different purposes, all of which are pieces of advice from his book.  I mean really, could I MAKE this stuff up?!

Legally, we'll see where this goes from here.  I hope, even if by the letter of the law, Mr. Craig is allowed to remain in his position, the district realizes the protection of the children is what's most important.  Then Mr. Craig can go from part time to full time at his other job--bouncer for a strip club.  Again, NOT kidding.

Yes, I AM peevish, thanks for asking

I'm pet peeving it today, and there are plenty, what with school starting for both the little darlings and my job.  I will try to keep the list light.

To My Kids' Teachers/Principals:

• BEFORE putting out the supply list, I beg of you, TALK to each other and determine what is needed.  I shouldn't have to run around to three stores and spend a small fortune on four (specifically noted on the supply list) 3-subject notebooks, only to find NOT ONE TEACHER WANTS THEM, and they ALL want the 1-subject notebooks I purchased for $.17.
• When scheduling classes, keep in mind the three minutes they get to move from place to place--and maybe, oh, I don't know, PEE--and stop putting them in a back and forth from one end of the earth to the other trajectory.  When tardies start on Tuesday, after having had to do my son's schedule at open house, I WILL be writing fun and pithy notes back if I get tardy slips for my kid.
• Don't use the open house time to showcase fun stuff our parent organization has bought that you like.  Yeah, smartboards are cool and all, but I don't need a demo.  Far more important is how you see my kids as individuals and how YOU interact with them, not the board.  I'm not so easily placated as an 11 year old. 

To MY Students:

• Don't ask me for an extension because "the bookstore gave me the wrong book." The syllabus was up for two weeks.  Yes, mistakes happen, but it's YOUR class.  That means the responsibility falls upon you to double check.  This is not the clerk's class.  You are the one getting the grade.  Even if you couldn't swap it out in time, I've got a copy on reserve in the library.  The assignment has been up for almost two weeks.  If you wait until the last day to do it, you'll run into some issues.
• I am not a miracle worker, nor am I grading scantrons here.  If an assignment closed the day before, you need to WAIT to get your grade.  Even if you completed it on the first day it was open (Good for you!  Keep it up!), I have to wait until the due date has passed to grade items.  Writing, and the grading of writing, takes thought, consideration, and contemplation.  I need more than 24 hours, yo.
• Along the same lines, I promise to return emails within 24 hours.  Please STOP acting like I'm derelict in my duties if I don't get back to you in 15 minutes.  Sending three emails in 12 hours asking why I haven't responded and demanding a response is not cool.  I have a life, and it doesn't revolve around YOU.  Would you like me to assign something and say it has to be done in one hour?  NO, you wouldn't!  Give me the same consideration.

I think that covers it for now.  Stay tuned, though.  The year is young.

My cause wasn't good enough

I've got a Trader Joe's in my neighborhood. Great place, love a ton of stuff there, but I don't go there often because it doesn't have everything I need, and it is a pricier option for some items that my family would inhale without thinking.

Lately, though, I've been at TJ's more often, because we've had two markets near me close. Even if I only need a few items, like today, I'd have to go further and wait in long lines. Going to TJ's more often, I've noticed the clientele has taken a decidedly hoi polloi if you will. I mean, we recycle, walk places more, etc., but, no, I haven't started a compost pile, and I don't think less (or more) of people who do.

I happened to be wearing a shirt that said "Save the World, it's the only Planet with Girl Scout Cookies." it's supposed to be cute, supporting girl scouts and giving a kick for recycling too. It's not my rally cry or anything. If you've been to TJ's, the staff are VERy nice and always chat people up. My checkout person saw the "save the world" part and made a big deal of stopping and reading my shirt. At first, she was smiling, then it kind of dropped away, she started an eye roll but realized I was watching her face, so she went with stammering instead.

At the time, I was concentrated on getting home, but now I'm more annoyed. I mean, sorry I'm not in the "cool" causes, sorry I defiled the sacred cause of recycling by trumping it with Girl Scout cookies.

Can't our causes all just get along?

That ship has sailed

My family was at our annual church picnic this past weekend.  As I was sitting there in the on again, off again sunshine, enjoying food other people had cooked for me, my son came up, looked at my head and exclaimed "oh no, Mom!" Panicked, I thought he'd spied a bug or something IN my hair and started swatting at my head.  Nope.  On his closer inspection, he said he saw "some" gray hairs.  I laughed, knowing my natural state is at least 50% gray these days, and said "yes" there are "some grays" there.  He told me--complete with sad face--he didn't want me to get old.  There are some issues I have with this scenario.

1.  Not want me to get old?  The ship has sailed on that dream, my son.  Find a new one.
2.  Has he truly never noticed in 11 years that every eight weeks or so, my hair changes shades?  I mean, seriously.  I guess this means he's "all man" now.

Number 2 is in direct opposition with number 3, fair warning.

3.  My SON noticed something that I didn't point out directly to him!  Yeah!

It's a small victory, but I'll take it.

Good advice for the men out there

When engaging a woman who is a stranger (as opposed to a strange woman, ha ha) in conversation, regardless of the capacity, I beg of you, make her day.  When every fiber of your being wants to call her "ma'am" go for "miss" instead.  Just trust me on this one.  Unless you are a soldier and have a female superior officer--or for children raised in the south who must address adult females in this manner under penalty of death--use "miss" over "ma'am" EVERY time.

I was on campus, leaving my evening course, watching one of our muscular staties (yep, we have STATE cops as our security, bazinga!) lock the door I needed, so I asked if I could still get out this way.  This led to a pleasant 20 second conversation, where I really have no idea what was said.  Did I mention muscular? And cop? Oh, and, like 25?  I'm 44.  The hormones are popping over my head like a 15 year old boy.  Don't judge me.  A little fantasy is healthy, and I always bring it home, if you know what I mean.

Then it happened. 

The boy ma'amed me.  He MA'AMED me. 

That is just like a cold shower of truth and injustice on my interlude of sweetness and light.

So men, whether you know it or not, you too may be the object of a little healthy brain work.  Do NOT ruin the moment by bringing out the polite, yet soul-crushing MA'AM if you know what's good for you.  That's my PSA of the day.